The Wanderers

2010.07.06 / Japan / posted by idrawgood

I feel like the other ALTs and I have turned a critical eye on Japanese culture for quite a while now, so I figured it'd be fun to instead look in the mirror, back at ourselves: The Wanderers. Supposedly, we're in Japan to teach English, but a closer look through a sociological lens reveals a wide variety of histories and motives. Here are the types of people you'll likely meet in an adventure living abroad.


The Conquerer

Profile: The Conquerer came to Japan to press more pins into his map of the world. While at first appearing charming and worldly, The Conqueror's too-cool-for-school attitude quickly becomes grating.

Appearance: He keeps a slightly rough appearance to preserve the illusion of toughness, and often buys his ratty clothes from unnecessarily expensive retro shops. Occasionally you'll see him break character by wearing an expensive jacket and backpack, which he'll claim he got for 65% off at an REI Garage Sale in Boulder.

Where to Meet: backpackers' hostels, coffee shops, anywhere that's cooler than where you currently are

Starts Conversations With: "Well, the last time I was in a subtropical rainforest..."

Aspirations: Japan is just a pit stop. Next stop, heliskiing in Switzerland.


The Enthusiast

Profile: This is the girl that has read every manga and knows more about things Japanese than the Japanese themselves, often to the point of rejecting her own culture and history (that stuff's too boring). She's been studying Japanese culture and language in her parents' attic since elementary school, and thus feels it's okay to grammatically correct Japanese native speakers.

Appearance: Glasses are obviously necessary to read all those books, and she carries a little extra neck fat from the days spent shopping online to augment her rare collection of gundam figurines.

Where to Meet: internet cafes, manga conventions, cosplay in Harujuku.

Starts Conversations With: "You're doing it wrong..."

Aspirations: marry a Japanese guy who cooks well and looks like Howl.


The Party Guy

Profile: You've all been to a party with The Party Guy. Insecurely overly masculine yet suspiciously homoerotic when drunk, The Party Guy never turns down a good time. He doesn't care where in the world he is; his mission is to get blitzed. Sometimes mistaken for a douchebag.

Appearance: As partying is his main focus, The Party Guy's visual presentation is sometimes lacking (as in, he always has a 5 o'clock shadow and inappropriately wears sandals to semiformal events). These tendencies to be unkempt, however, can be overridden by his biological compulsion to mate. To attract female specimens, The Party Animal will take drastic measures such as bathing, spiking his hair, or even wearing Hollister cologne.

Where to Meet: anywhere where alcohol is served or consumed, outside historical landmarks (everyone knows it's way cooler to get drunk in front of a 500-year-old castle than outside a 7-11), the Abercrombie Summer Sale, frat reunions.

Starts Conversations With: "OMG I'm sooo f*cked up..."

Aspirations: get trashed.


The Deer in Headlights

Profile: The Deer in Headlights is definitely interested in experiencing other cultures, but just can't wrap her head around the culture shock.

Appearance: Wide, glossy eyes, slightly open mouth...she can't help but look confused as cultural change blasts her in the face.

Where to Meet: Connection points like bus stops or train stations, as she is likely to launch numerous attempts to comprehend city and station names in kanji. Eventually, you might spot her with kind, native Japanese people as they struggle through English to help her find her way.

Starts Conversations With: "...Huh?"

Aspirations: avoid a nervous breakdown for at least 4 days.

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