The Engrish File, Ch. 1

2010.05.03 / Japan / posted by idrawgood

The Japanese have developed a form of English that's as hilarious as it is beautiful. Almost approaching what linguists would consider a creole, Japanese English blends butchered approximations of English words with the strangest grammar imaginable...so strange that it often becomes quite poetic. Here are some of my favorites.

10.Hello, _______ , give me your heart / money. (Let's Talk English File #7, asking the students to choose either heart or money)

9. Let's Enjoying English!! (So close to correct, and yet so far.)

8. I am from Earth. I treasure brain. (First year student's brief essay describing what city he came from, and what he treasures. I'm fairly convinced he's a zombie.)

7. Realize How to Shopping (Teacher-written introduction to shopping words. -ing verbs and gerunds seem to be quite tricky)

6. Every taste and function are created and manufactured for sensuous people. (Package for a small sweet. This is a good example of perfect grammar with an obscure meaning)

5. It's painful to get caught between the closing doors. Even more so are the eyes of those looking at you. (Elevator warning sign using embarrassment as motivation for proper elevator behavior)

4. I like your history. (Statement directed at me by a teacher who had never talked to me before. What I enjoyed about it was its lack of context.)

3. Astronomers always know the size. (A T-shirt from a great shop called Shot. Astronomers know the size of what, exactly?)

2. How often do you play sex? (Junior high and elementary school students have asked me this about 10 times. Naturally, they think of sex as a sport you practice, so I suppose play does make sense)

1. Sunshine Bitch DO YOU WANT MORE? Dick 82. (An instant classic from a shirt Rob Wilkinson found. Here it's expertly modeled by Jaclyn Threadgill.)

Do you have finds for the Engrish file? If so, contact me.

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